Reveal Yourself!
Break free from toxic beliefs and live authentically.
In Western society, particularly, we often find ourselves caught in a web of external expectations that suffocate our individual and intrinsic values. Our society is structured in a way that promotes superficial metrics of success—jobs, youth, appearance, wealth—over the profound qualities that define who we truly are.
You know what? Let me not water this down.
Not only does society champion and reinforce these things, it downright propagandizes.
No one is born with any desire for these things. This relentless chase for validation through external markers is force fed to us. If you don’t believe me, or feel like I’m exaggerating then I encourage you to look into Marketing Psychology, for starters.
On the surface, this distraction to our focus from what genuinely matters might not seem like a big deal. Yet, over time and repeated exposure, what happens is we internalize these messages and adopt them as our own.
This is where our self-worth becomes compromised.
The Illusion of Success
Consider the lives of many celebrities and politicians. They seem to have everything—fame, fortune, and admiration. Yet, time and again, we witness their downfalls, spirals of despair, and very public dramas. This raises a crucial question: If achieving these external signifiers of success holds so much value, why do so many of those who attain them seem lost or troubled?
The truth is that real, lasting fulfillment doesn’t come from accolades or possessions. It stems from knowing our intrinsic values and aligning our actions accordingly. The quick dopamine hits we get from positive attention or immediate gratification feel powerful, but they are short-lived. Anchoring our self-worth to fleeting and superficial ideals, sets us up for disappointment and craving another hit.
Punk Granny Hard Truth
Brace yourselves. What I’m about to share will probably go down like a jagged little pill. But know that it is offered with love, empathy and hope. Here it is:
Feeling unworthy comes from you stifling your power.
Before you start firing off an angry worded comment, please hear me out. This is not victim blaming. Most of us have succumbed to this and have also perpetuated it. I have been where you are. There are times when I still forget myself and get temporarily lost. Believe me, I know there are many reasons why we do this (mainly survival) consciously and subconsciously.
That’s not what I want to unpack here. I want to impress upon you that awareness is opportunity to change your condition.
The fact remains, only we have the ability to diminish our own lights. We allow others to convince us to do this.
The good news is that it’s still inside you. Somewhere buried underneath years of hardship and the fortress you built to protect yourself is a spark waiting to be reignited.
The path will be dark for a while. It can be treacherous and even frightening. Because you’re headed somewhere you can no longer see. You’re going to have to do a lot of hard digging.
But you know it’s there. You can feel it. Otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re done reading this post. Dismissing my words as psycho-babble, drivel.
For those who are persistent enough (people will call you brave, but trust me, it won’t feel that way until much much later), you might find some additional things you lost over the years that you forgot about; like faith, curiosity, hope and more.
And, guess what friends? That’s what reconnecting with your “inner child” is all about. It’s not just having fun and experiencing joy.
It’s that inner knowing of who you really are.
The Power of Authenticity
Feeling lost, stuck, or less than tends to sneak up on us until one day it’s overwhelming. We become unbalanced, unwell. We turn to quick fixes—after all, we are very busy people—trying to soothe ourselves with distraction. Hell, we don’t even take the time to properly assess the problem.
So how can we possibly find the solution or cure?
Where do we start to untangle this mess of toxic programing?
How do we develop healthier, more productive habits of thought?
Start with the understanding that you are not alone. You’re not the first to struggle with this, nor will you be the last. You have been subjected and trained to absorb years of external propaganda. In a very real sense, you’ve been hoarding data and need a good clear out. The more you have collected, the more time, discernment and practice it might take to weed through all that you want to toss and what you want to hold onto.
Be kind to yourself.
Below are some more tips to build new habits of thought and reconnect with your self-worth.
Identify Your Values: Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to YOU. What were your priorities as a child; are they still important to you? Is it compassion, creativity, or connection? Write them down and keep them close.
Challenge External Pressures: Start questioning your goals. Are you chasing them because you want to or feel you should? Recognize that success markers are often constructed beliefs designed to benefit those in power—advertisers, corporations, political figures. Try asking yourself, “How do I want to feel?” instead.
Create Boundaries: Protect your energy. Surround yourself with supportive people who acknowledge your intrinsic worth beyond surface-level measures. Ignoring everything and everyone that “no longer serves” is unrealistic. But, consider distancing yourself from sources that perpetuate toxic beliefs or doesn’t promote your self-worth.
Engage in Self-Care: Nurture both mind and body. Find activities that help you reconnect with your inner self such as meditation, physical activity, or creative pursuits. Hobbies can be a great way to meet new, like-minded folx!
Celebrate Small Wins: Take time to appreciate the value of small achievements that are aligned with your intrinsic values. Gratitude is great leap towards fulfillment.
Journal: I’m imagining a lot of readers groaning, “Lord, not this again.” Yes, this again! Think it-Write it-Speak it is the most powerful affirmation/manifestation tool there is. How do you think certain ideas stuck with you in the first place? Repetition and reinforcement. Now, do it for yourself.
Get Professional Help: If at anytime you feel overwhelmed, unable to cope or that your mental health is in question, see a medical or other appropriate licensed practitioner. My opinions/advice are not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, substance abuse treatment, or other professional advice by legal, medical or other qualified professionals.
Your Authenticity Adventure
A final note for those of you who are worrying about your existing relationships: Ask yourself, what is the point if you’re not being authentic?
If you’re not honest with yourself, you’re not honest with anyone else. For me, it took cancer to smack me upside the head with this truth. I was terrified everyone I loved would hate me. But I realized it wasn’t fair to them to keep living a lie. Yes, some folks naturally faded out of my orbit. The ones that I loved most, loved me back and supported me. Today my relationships are fewer but FAR more fulfilling than they’ve ever been.
Another thing I’ve learned is that those folx who judge you, insist you’re crazy or otherwise are really reacting to their own mis-alignment. It’s not you they’re upset with. It’s themselves whether they realize it or not.
By staying true to who you are, you not only reclaim your sense of self-worth but also inspire others to break free from the chains of toxic beliefs. My mission is to cultivate a world where intrinsic values are celebrated over superficial measures, fostering genuine connections and true self-acceptance.
Because, when we love ourselves, it’s much easier to love others.
Start Today
Here’s a chance to share your truth right now. I invite you to share in the comments:
What societal pressures/expectations would you like to let go of?
If this resonated with you, here are some similar posts of mine:
Your Dreams Start Where Comfort Ends
Getting Unstuck Through Gratitude
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This right here 👉 Feeling unworthy comes from you stifling your power. 💯 spot on!
Thank you for this piece. So glad you've pulled off the big reveal! Now that I'm almost 70, I give less of a shit about being liked and more of a shit about being human. And I'm more compassionate and content for doing this.